this article was first imagined as ‘how i managed my burnout’, then planned as ‘what i learned from my burnout’, and finally changed it to the title above. it’s not only been a process to go through burnout itself (if i could even say i’m at the other end yet), but also my perspective on it, and what i wanna share about it.

first things first: my burnout was overdue. for years i’ve been putting too many things on my plate (i’ll talk about the reasons later), and i felt on edge for a long time. first chronic exhaustion built up, then it finally crashed on me. and unexpectedly took me on quite a journey of finding myself.

my gp was basically useless. she didn’t put me on sick-leave from my employment, didn’t take a blood test, but only offered me medication for anxiety. besides the fatigue, of course, i was super sensitive and easily stressed out, but it would only treat a symptom, not the root cause.

my neurodivergent coach provided resources, and i also had some further realisations. so here’s my advice when experiencing a neurodivergent burnout:

• first aid: taking things slow. not easy, when your financial income depends on it, or large projects, like a 100 page magazine layout, is planned already. so i decided to work only half days when i could, but more days per week. The half day rule would also include other chores, like household, and other. after half day of productivity i was actually not able to do anything else anymore.
  
• scheduling rest between tasks: it might sound funny, but all my life i barely took a break. because if so, i’d feel the exhaustion. so better keep juggling all the tasks spinning around in your head. a no-brainer, but it made a big difference: 10 minute sit or lie down in-between tasks, like after work and before cooking dinner. but i had to get used to actually rest. because our racing mind is restless, and needs constant stimulation. and the guilt kicking in when you don’t do anything, so bad.
  
• self-regulation: i already meditated every day, listened to affirmations in the mornings and evenings, and just started EFT (emotional freedom technique) up to three times a day. my autistic brain loves routines, of course, but what i needed to learn was regulating myself whenever there was something on. it took a bit to make it a habit. how you do it is very individual, i like shaking my different body parts.
  
• sensory breaks: more than ever. only in quietness, just turning down or off music, wearing earplugs, or out in nature, made me realize how much the constant traffic and chatter in the street affect my well-being. i needed less stimulation, and less human interactions.

• categorizing tasks in urgency and importance: only this technique helped me understand how many things i’m doing which aren’t this urgent or important, it’s actually ridiculous. so i learned prioritizing to-dos, and only completing those. not easy for ADHD minds, as we are driven by interest, not urgency.
  
• outsourcing tasks: only when i was in need i was able to ask my significant other for help. i always wanted to be seen as a strong independent women (just another result of a lack of self-confidence), but for what price? so i was able to drop the shopping, and similar for a while.
  
• respecting my own limits: still in progress. ADHDers easily fall into the trap of getting overly excited over something, that’s why they take on too much, and then it ends up feeling like chores. but also, especially as a late self-diagnosed AuDHDer, all this productivity led society mentality was still in my subconcious. i finally learned, that as a neurodivergent individual i don’t need to fulfill neurotypical standards. it takes quite some self-observation to notice when you’re approaching your limits, because we neurodivergent people have a bad connection to ourselves, and mostly only sense it when we are beyond.
  
• removing yourself from energy taking environments: what’s sucking up a lot of energy from neurodivergent people is the constant masking and people pleasing. avoid places where you have to do it ongoingly, because your feelings, needs or value isn’t recognized. it takes some evaluation which friends or even family members are good for you or not. but also other areas could be energy leaks. (fun fact: someone, who tells you at the exhibition opening of the autistic pride days you shouldn’t be using the term autism this easily might not be a safe space.)

• planning enjoyable activities: this felt very strange to me in the beginning. because i didn’t know what joy feels like anymore. i remember me cycling around without a destination, because i knew i used to like it. i started with small things, like jigsaws and podcasts, and slowly built up. now my life feels so much more fulfilling than before. i am able to be silly again – and even spontaneous.
  
• going with the flow: as an autistic person that might have been the hardest one for me. because planning, structure and routines gives safety, predictability, and i know what’s coming, so i can prepare. but i noticed, whatever well meant plan i had, it doesn’t help when you just don’t feel like it at that very moment. and pushing through the next thing isn’t useful when you’re low in energy already. so i learned to make things more flexible.
  
• learning to ‘radically’ listen to my needs: it’s so much easier said than done. but i’ve never really learned to firstly know my needs, and secondly to address them (unhealthy upbringing on top). it took some practice to learn checking in with myself more regularly, and make choices for me instead for others (or profit).
  
• last but not least, go to the root cause: ask yourself what brought you into burnout and follow up. for me it meant to explore why i put other people’s needs before mine, why i like to be in control, or why i cannot trust others? it brings issues to light to adjust in your life on a deeper level, to create a lifestyle which is actually sustainable.

disclaimer: recovery isn’t linear! you might feel good for an afternoon and believe it’s over, and the next day is back to burnout. you might push just a little to much once, and find yourself completely knackered afterwards. burnout recovery isn’t a sprint, but a marathon. be kind and gentle to yourself <3

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